.+++==+++++++ You need to get a grip+++_-__==++++====____=++
truth is... i don't mean to hurt you
oh but you know me!! How brutally frank...and straightfoward i am..i can't help it. I would tell you something positive but i would only be lying..yes i know. sometimes its good to withhold the truth..but wad can i do now its all been said and done?
i rather your frends have rebuked me and told me of to my face
i rather them yell at me..if they felt i had done you such a great wrong
for true friends will stand up for each other if one has been wronged...and thats what true friendship is about is it not? But if your friends just stood and laughed, and nodded their heads and agreed..even if in their hearts they felt it was injustice to u..then r they still your true frends? then they r nothing more then hypocrites. then i rather be brutally cuttingly honest, then to live buried in the shadow of lies
it hurts that they misunderstood my intentions
i was just giving a frank opinion..is that wrong? if someone asked me do i have to lie? it was just my personal view..is that fair enough no? even if i said something..but thats just how i feel..and i alone..and it does not make it a fact. FOr example even if i thought you were a bad person..it does not make it a fact right? Its just that i can't help the way i think. i have been trying and trying but i can't seem to shake of that feeling. its making me guilty..and i wonder why?
you need to learn to stop being so paranoid
u need to learn to stop blaming me for everything that goes on in ur life
and above all you need to learn to truly mean it when you say.. "i need to talk to you.." what is the use of talking to me and asking me all these questions when you don't even want to hear my answers? since you have already constructed ur own answers inside your heart..and ur opinions are like earwax..covering ur ears..what is the point of talking to me when you dont even listen? frankly..u r wasting both our time
truth is i don't deny that i do feel uneasy around you..u make me uncomfortable..like a reptile snaking through my clothes..and i can feel its scales on my skin. Yes. its the same kind of feeling with you around. I can't help it..ive tried to fight it..and tried to make myself like you more..but then when i see you...i just feel as though slices of ice are falling down my spine. its a very awkward kind of feeling. ..and then my stomach starts to churn..and spin..very much like the laundry machines u see.. its a bad feeling. no matter what happens , its reached a stage where these feelings r very much unsalvagable..yes i pray abt it all the time.. All the time! u noe..that someday..that churning feeling will go away..but i don't tink its happening in the near future. But its not ur fault. its just me. its just in my mind. .. when i finally work out how the mysterious labyrinth of my mind works..then ill tell you.but until then..i guess this is how it is. Sorry.
its just that wen i see you
wen u come nearer..warning bells go off in my mind..and the sound is so jarring and discordant that the only way to shut it out is to run. ...when i see you..my legs seem to be programmed to go in the other direction, its like someone else has taken over my body and i have no control over my own bodily functions
*shrugs*
don' t think i don't feel bad..coz i feel alot like hell..u noe..like when u wake up and its 2pm..and u realised u just missed the most impt math exam of ur life. Yeah. that kinda feeling. then a voice in ur mind ( quite unlike your own) starts to whimper :" please mr hitler..won't you not take me to the german concentration camp with you..anywhere but here sir.."
..you realise that ur current existence is ....not really existent after all..